Gallows Humor

HeavymetaloshaIf you are easily offended or a fan of Pantera or Damageplan, read no further. When I was a kid in junior high school, I was a metalhead. Heavy metal is what inspired me to begin playing guitar, for which I will always be grateful, though my tastes have broadened over the years. Pantera and Damageplan came along after I left heavy metal (and my early adolescence) for music with a bit less leather and testosterone, but I was a huge fan of the likes of Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Queensryche and Yngwie Malmsteen.

So when I read this story about last week’s shooting in an Ohio nightclub, I was of course saddened by the meaningless waste of it all. But at the same time, “the evil Ryan” was inspired to create a set of workplace safety guidelines to help prevent such tragedies in the future. After a few Google Image searches and half an hour using my rudimentary Photoshop skills, I created this masterpiece. It got a few laughs at the office from my fellow bandmates Rex and Jason, so I decided to share it here.

  • haha.. You’re photoshop skills are an inspiriation to us all! That’s pretty funny though.. That whole ordeal was rediculous. I also heard that once the guy shot off a few rounds he was going to shoot his way out of the crowd..
    The wierd thing was, with all those metalheads, nobody just bum rushed him. No, they had to wait for a cop to get there. I’m sorry if someone is shooting people, all it takes is a few good men to take him down.

  • Clearly the fan was scared by those big monsters in their pants. 😉

  • sir laffalot

    Priest rules! Unleashed in the East! (well, at least they did back in gr. 8)

  • The lead singer lives next door to the Riders in TX. He had a big yard sign made of holiday lights that said “Dime Shines.”
    Touches the heart, don’t it?
    Hearing Texan parents try to explain the name “Dimebag” to their children was a holiday treat to be sure.

  • Scott Laughlin

    The graphic work is exceptional, however I’m aghast OSHA did not recommended kevlar. If you dig deep enough, I’m sure you’ll find that OSHA’s director’s brother-in-law is a medieval armorist. Call Heraldo Rivera!

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